Biological weapons

From 3300 years ago.

History

Some do, and I'm a panderer.

A map of the Roman Roads.

Potent quotables

Sweet.

Cartels

A shady, exploitative organization promoting substance abuse.

True friendship

This is what it's all about.

Charity

27 hours of sex for the children.

Innovation

America: No poppies, you can't have 'em.

Afghanistan: Fine, you didn't say no pot.

The mobile classroom

Wtf teach, y did u give me an f? ill b in ur off ltr 2 r-gu.

A car that can see around corners

Nope.

Your idea

Dumber than the Jump to Conclusions Mat? I think so.

Pet rock

Wish I had thought of that...

Green energy

Kite power is pretty nifty, though.

Tailgating

What's the one thing you've always wished you could bring along for tailgating?

Electronic Tatoos

I would totally get one.

The mathematics of rap

1, 2, 3 and to tha 4.

Morbidity

For the magicians in your family. And the weirdos.

Laziness

Something about this just screams: buy another kind of boat!

Hydrogen-powered bikes

Nice shorts, guy.

Suggested ad campaign:
It's not JUST for douches.
or
Hey, at least it's not a Segway.

Safety

I much prefer the appearance of safety.

Some crazy sculpture guy

But apparently he's pretty good.

Being cool

But if I did, I'd practice in this video game version of Mean Girls.

Giving

Some helpful suggestions for those who do.

Thanksgiving

A Thermite Thanksgiving - Watch more free videos

That smell

Ooooh that smell. The smell of nukes surrounds you.

Robocop

This is the hot ish.

Freedom, Low Taxes and the Russian Way

Vladimir Putin: Let's play a game; call it the "election game."
Gary Kasparov: Ok, I challenge you. What are the rules?
Vladimir Putin: They are simple. I win. You lose.

Tasers

Don't torture me, bro.

Terminator

Holy Crap!!!!!

Your quirks

If you ever wonder whether some of the things you do are a little out there, you're probably right. So you pick your nose, at least you didn't eat 10 pounds of your own hair.

Arrested Development

Please, please let this be true.

Talking robot ladybugs

Wait, what?

Relationship advice

Thanks craigslist.

Recycling

One man's trash is another man's masterpiece.

Your hobbies

If you need a new one, though, you can always build one of these.

The wisdom of honeybees

Apparently, honeybees are going to make the internet faster.

The robots living among us

Not yet, but hey, they've managed to assimilate into cockroach society, and to take it over. Is Hillary Clinton a robot?

Keeping our schools safe

These kids do, though.

What time it is

A vote is being taken to determine the answer to that question. Seriously.

Style

Your closet knows what's up.

Rainbows

But for those of you who've been wondering how to find the pot of gold at the end, scientists have managed to capture a rainbow.

The internet

At least not as much as they do.

Creation

Dear believers,

Visit the Creation Museum here. Look what God hath wrought.

Regretfully,
Science

Huck and Chuck

Vote Huckabee.

Vocal Prowess

There are so many things that come to mind when I watch this video. 1) Is this for real? 2) Why am I enjoying this so much? 3) WTF?

Homeless female professional wrestling camp

With a little inspiration and a lot of hard work, you can be one too.

The castle doctrine

"Boom, you're dead. (Sound of gunshots) Get the law over here quick, I've managed to get one of them... I had no choice."

Men who look like old lesbians

Or the website devoted to them.

Amy Winehouse

You stay classy.

Marketing

Apparently, this pic is supposed to be part of a tourism promotion campaign in London.

Thinking out loud

Literally.

Turkeyday

How much you're like a vacuum cleaner

Because this thing sucks even more.

VW

The VolkswApple iPassat.

Mutation

WTF?!

Statistical visualization

Sweetest informational video ever.

Memory

Virtual memory. Isn't it nice to be able to forget?

Tha' police

NY's finest.

Money

But for those who do, the new $1 coins are here, and they feature none other than James Madison. Not the James Madison I remember. A James Madison that's been in a bar fight. Look at the poor sap, he's got a crushed orbital bone and a fat lip. Or maybe he's just a really unfortunate looking human being.

The olympics

But if these events were added, I might begin to care.

DIY games

Make your own tetris and more.

My right to vote

I'm gonna go out there on a limb and say that these prices are actually a little high.

How much money gets spent in a presidential election? An extremely liberal guess says this election season will see spending of 1.5 billion.

If 150 million people vote (a big increase from last election), that means each vote is worth $10.

But, there's a better way to find out the value of a vote. I'm auctioning my vote off to the highest bidder. Whoever offers to pay me the most will get my vote cast on election day for the candidate of his or her choice. Let the bidding begin in the comments section.

Brokeback basketball

Phil Jackson, your sense of humor is not enough to surmount the pressures of political correctness. Not quite enough.

Relative and nominal price

Ah wikipedia, fount of knowledge, purveyor of truth. Take a look at the last line under that subheading.

This is wikipedia, not ratemyprofessors.com.

Sucking

The first computer ever to say "Blow me" and mean it.

Game gear

Not when I can have GameBoy on my iPhone.

Warm soda

I don't care, because I don't have to care anymore.

Your car wreck(s)

Yes, it was expensive, but did your entire automobile vaporize on impact? I think not.

Twitter

This is probably the coolest thing I've joined in a while.

Bob Dylan's Art

Kinda reminds me of van Gogh.

Mickey Rourke

A little old, but still good.

Charity Sex

But if you'd like to be paid to provide an important public service (sleeping with the disabled) check out this website.

Your body image

Just remember, it could be worse.

Drunks

That's right, Nevada and New Hampshire, and the rest of you lushes out there. You know who you are.

Humvee-mounted laser guns

I'm lying. I care deeply.

Disneyland

What's the only thing better than one robot theme park?

Two robot theme parks.

Bilkemor LLC

Yes, that's the name of a shell corporation set up by DC lawmakers to launder illegal tax refunds. Bilkemor LLC. At least they had a sense of humor.

The poems written by my former roommate

His place as poet laureate of this blog is taken. By a sad, sad man.

Your high school musical

Is this the best performance you've seen in years? Bet on it.

Stopping cars with radiation

No word on the impact of the technology on sperm count.

Celebrity Charity Work

I guess the elephants were being left out.

Shocking Journalism

What are the odds.

Your age

Do you look old enough to purchase used womens' underwear, er... cigarettes from a Japanese vending machine? The machine knows.

Medieval torture device

Or book ripper? You be the judge.

Gift-giving

For those out there without gift-giving talent, I present 25 recommendations.

Though it receives a ranking of 13th on their list. The item pictured above is a guaranteed wiener for any golf fanatic in the family (that's two wiener jokes today, thank you very much).

Update: This might actually be better.

Lite-brite

A blast from the past, retooled for the future.

Fairies

Read how this fairy lost his job collecting teeth.

Haunted houses

Haunted gas station, anyone?

Watch the video.

The wet legs of oil executives

Sweet.

Hippies

Q: Why did the hippie cross the road?

A: Because he fell out of his tree and had to be taken to the hospital. Seriously.

Self-Control

New invention lets you get yourself under control.

Hide and Seek

Those sneaky Chinese always win.

Cat Eyes

Iceman this is Cat Eyes.

Wii-eners

Control your Wii in interesting ways.

Mind-reading

They'll know what you think you might know before you even know that you might should think about whether or not you know it.

Guitar Hero

All I want for Christmas.

Beer Pong

Seriously?

Guilt trips

Check this page out. Feel guilty about taking the free option?

Your watch

A grandfather clock for your wrist.

Angels

They're real...

That vintage look

Eager to make your bike unappealing? Look no further.

Rainy days

Tops on the list of things I wish I'd had in middle school.

Laser guns

Sadly, the only thing you'll be killing with a laser in the near future is cancer.

Solar-powered ferries

Cool.

Microscopic art

More here. And here.

Your drought

Listen, Georgia, it could be worse; you could be this guy.

Rough justice

Want to destroy your criminal street cred? Try getting beat up by a 70 year-old woman.

Space music

Beats from the planet Saturn.

Dave Chapelle

It's like he never left.

Women

Because they can't cook, and I'm not afraid to post about this other guy saying it.

James Bond

Where were you on this one, Q?

Linguistics

Scientists, keenly aware of their inability to hold conversations with real people, have deciphered the language of whales. Not surprisingly, whales don't care about their research either, won't let the scientists buy them a drink.

Climbing the ladder

When no one wants to do the job, they always slough it off on the intern.

Driver's ed

Which method is most effective for teaching?

A) The stick.
B) The carrot.

Guinness

Brilliant.

Architecture

Nifty.

Plans of action

If it works for Georgia, will it work for Iraq?

And if it fails, next step, rain dance.

Olde tyme religion

Graverobbing's not just for med students anymore.

Birthday surprises

Request a gorilla, get a stripper.

The 10 Commandments

Punctuality, right next to not beating thy wife.

MacGyver

All I need is 2 wires, 2 toothpicks, a potato, some toothpaste, and some cotton. Fire anyone?

Scandal

Create your own.

Art

This week: air painting.

Soooo last week: air guitar.

Personal transport

Question: Is it possible to create something that makes people look stupider than a Segway?

Answer: yes.

Bugs and other creepy crawly things

This is the kind of thing that could've made Battlebots cool.

If you don't remember Battlebots, it's because you had friends growing up.

Star Wars

Wondering how long it took him?

Kicking Ass

The best 50 fight scenes ever.

Your moment of glory

Your moment pales in comparison to this valiant defender of children.

Health

Dying young never seemed so worth it.

Asking for directions

Thank you, google, for sparing me the indignity.

Cities

Hours and hours of ranking-reading enjoyment.

Boredom

It's dead to me.

Real people

And, ya know what? I always felt bad about it. Until today, that is. Apparently, there's nothing wrong with loving your Roomba like your brother. It's only natural...

Assault

With a deadly cookie.

Iran

If, for some strange reason, you happen to care, these pictures are absolutely amazing.

Tricks

This guy's treats are way more satisfying.

Geeks or drunks

It's really the OR, I don't care about.

Luck

The only thing that could make this story better would be if the man had bought a winning lottery ticket on the same day.

The Smart Car

120 MPH golf cart, anyone?

Dispute settlement

Showing your man-gina: not effective.

Superman

It's a bird, it's a spy plane, it's a... mobile cell phone tower?

Keeping Kosher

But if you count that among your concerns, have I got the phone for you!

Torture

Wow. I didn't think it could get worse than #2.

MP-See

I know I've said it before, but here's another way to be stupid and look stupid doing it.

Butthash

Smoke that shit, son.

This has to be a joke on the law, right?

Myspace

Keep the hits coming, Facebook.

Self-hating Jews

What?!

Truth or dare.

Dare.

Grab-ass

Just a couple of flamers playing grab-ass.

David Copperfield

Sure, he may have made the Statue of Liberty disappear with sleight of hand, smoke and mirrors. But these scientists made 20% of the universe disappear with equations alone.

The British military

Granted we'd welcome her back to the other team, but do you really want to convince an attractive lesbian to change her ways?

Blow, x, weed, smack, or caffeine

Nah, lemme hit that sea urchin roe.

Driving with your dong

Remember when that meant speeding and/or road rage?

Personal transporters

But that tricked out Segway is phiggity-phiggity-phat.

Robo-car

I want.

Genetic engineering

Either we've finally managed to combine human and octopus DNA, or this is a really tragic story.

Stackable cars

How do you get yours out if others park behind you?

That annoying guy you work with

Because according to Britons, this chick is worse than diarrhea.

Origami

Cool.

Jet airliners

But if you're looking for something to get me for Christmas...

Bottle service

For bloggers who are weekend active.

Elephants on acid

What!?

Coincidentally, a great name for a band or an album.

Technology

For those yearning to return to a simpler era...

The headlines

Except for this one, which I take as evidence of the coming of End Times.

Perversion, poor taste, and crassness

Thus I present to you the 10 sickest videos ever made.

Apple Predictions

Hindsight is 20/20.

Japanese Textbooks

I honestly don't know how to preface this. NSFW-ish

Airbrushing

Wow.

Sexual orientation

But, for the record, and I'm as shocked as the next guy, the Village People were not all gay.

Girlie men

Because nothing says manly like spending your entire life playing video games.

Politics

But that W character sure is witty.

Creativity

Yet another remake...

Your headache

Seems irrelevant now, doesn't it?

Thoughtful gifts

Looking for the perfect gift for that special someone? Why not give her ebola?

Practice bombs

Check your backyard, the guvmint is dropping bombs.

Your hatred of math

It's so easy, a monkey can do it.

Robot privateers

Out: ninjas vs. pirates.
In: robots vs. pirates.

Your nerdy little secret

Hers is way hotter.

Ninja Parades

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again